Category Archives: Funny

The Awesome: The Avett Brothers On Sale – “Slight Figure Of Speech” Video Premier On FunnyOrDie.com

For the past couple weeks I have been enjoying videos on FunnyOrDie.com & YouTube by something called the The American Budget Network (TAB).  TAB features comedian Andy Daly selling random products but with a twist.  Mocking television shopping channels with a almost UHF feel to is genus especially when the episodes sometimes “accidentally” show behind the scenes clips.  Never in a million years though would I have thought that the clips would incorporate into an Avett Brothers music video… Hilarious and brilliant.

Come to think…

TAB.

The. Avett. Brothers.

Coincidence??? Perhaps.

The Avett Brothers “Slight Figure Of Speech” video on TAB:

NOFX – Cokie The Clown – CD Review

Leave it to NOFX to keep it unique for their fans. This time around the 25 year punk rock veterans have released a five song EP titled Cokie The Clown. The uniqueness of this EP is that four of the songs were choice cut tracks for their most recent full length release that the band chose to take off Coaster and release at a later time. Like a chaser swig of beer to a strong shot, Cokie The Clown follows Coaster perfectly giving the fans just a little bit more NOFX zing to tie them over until the next round.

The cover of the EP shows Cokie The Clown, rather a scary looking Fat Mike clown portrait that makes Pennywise in Stephen King’s IT look harmless. On the back of the EP is a circus flier comically showcasing the band as entertainers of the mediocre show.  The EP contains four unreleased tracks and an acoustic version of one song that appeared on Coaster.

Opening track “Cokie The Clown” incorporates anti-sobriety with full on abuse in a first person sung song about said clown and his shenanigans with Eric Melvin providing introduction. I cracked up upon hearing the clown asking to be watched while juggling “eight balls” as well as the line “I will trip you down those 12 giant steps” knowing exactly which steps he referred to.

“Straight Outta Massachusetts” resembled something that Matt Stone or Trey Parker of South Park fame might have written for a musical. Still catchy and fun the song told the story of a rowdy 5 year old (who later grows up to be Fat Mike I am assuming) shun by his father from the east coast to the west coast to be with his mother. The song originally appeared on an episode of Pancake Mountain featuring Fat Mike and his adorable daughter.  (If you have never heard of Pancake Mountain you should click THIS.)

“Fermented And Flailing” and “Codependence Day” both kept with the fats riffs and ever so candid lyrics speaking of the pros and cons about alcoholism.  Just like most NOFX songs the lyrics are to the point about their opinion but also well formulated.

Unquestionably the most depressing song of the year “My Orphan Year” that already choked me up on Coaster got even sadder thanks to Fat Mike picking up an acoustic guitar and slowing things down all by himself. The true story formulated into song about Fat Mike losing his folks in 2006 seriously will bring tears to eyes of many (including myself). Let it be know, even rampant punk rockers have feelings too.

The EP is available on CD and also will be split into two 7”s for all you vinyl junkies out there. As an added bonus Fat Wreck Chords is offering a Cokie The Clown bundle including a t-shirt and either the CD version or the two 7” discs of the EP.

Cokie The Clown comes out on November 24th but if you can not wait you can pre-order it right now by going HERE.

Fat Mike actually dressed up as Cokie at the Riot Fest in Chicago and pulled a not so typical prank involving a plastic flower and some white stuff…

If that is not hilarious enough, check out the video that just posted up on MySpace for “Cokie The Clown”:

NOFX – Cokie The Clown

NOFX | MySpace Music Videos

Here is the Pancake Mountain version of “Straight Outta Massachusetts” featuring Fat Mike and his daughter:

Blog On: The Vomitus Prime Show According To Kevin

One of my pals since the easy days of sitting on milk crates on Saturday night on the side of a Dunkin Donuts has been telling me a lot about something out there I need to check out.  He even went so far as to asking me to do a little write-up about said entertainment.

I had a better idea.  I told him to do it.  Not because I am lazy and did not want to, but I wanted his excitement for the podcast put into words for all to read.  At first Kevin was hesitant and after strong force and blatant threats he agreed.

So now I turn it over to Kevin…  Thanks pal.


Remember the days when you were a sophomore in high school and you were so into that one awesome band? You listened to them all the time, sported the t-shirt, and told everyone about them just trying to share the love.  Sadly people just gave you an idiot stare while asking if you still had to pee in a cup before school.  The wanted nothing to do with you or that stupid band you were in to.

Shockingly a few months later those same people that you were wildly raving at are telling you about the same new band that they discovered.  You knew deep down inside that you though were the OG of that band, you knew about them all along…

I’m about to relive that glory once again, but not with a band this time.  This time it is with a podcast.

WAIT!  Keep reading.

I know that there is a lot of garbage podcasts out there, especially in the comedy section. Just because you have $20 for a mic and your mom told you that you were talented doesn’t make it OK to have a show. There is talent out there, you just have to look.

For the past few months I have been listening to Bill and Will make some comedy magic on something called The Vomitus Prime podcast.

What is Vomitus Prime you ask?  I took this direct from their site to give you a little insight on what they are all about:

Vomitus Prime has nothing to do with transformable robots. It’s a rotating cast from the tail end of Generation X. They spend about an hour roughly once a week reminiscing their past glories, dreaming up derelict things to save money, and mocking others. Sometimes high-tech, sometimes classless, sometimes culinary. Always worth every cent.

Now that I have your attention…

Bill is currently working on his 121st episode with his 3rd 4th 5th 6th co-host, Will. The show takes place somewhere in the Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin tri-state area, it’s exact location remaining a mystery.

Actually, now that it’s getting into winter you might be able to find the hideout by the glow of the depression light via Bill’s desk. Bill is a man with the social skills of The Unabomber and a sense of humor reminiscent of Bill Hicks. His partner, Will, is an ADD-afflicted nymphomaniac whose curiosity takes the show on wild tangents.

When you get your weekly dose of Vomitus Prime you’ll get a mix of politically uncool humor. Everything is fair game, and don’t worry–you’ll get used to getting the stink-eye from folks at the grocery store when you let out a maniacal laugh from the show.

Listening to Vomitus Prime keeps you at age 25 – forever. Its a time when life’s early milestones have been passed. You are no longer carded because the bartender can see the pleading in your eyes for a drink. Golden and amber refreshment is the only way to replenish the bit of your soul that is taken every day in Cubicleland.

Much like happy hour, an hour of Vomitus Prime lets you rant about the day, laugh about it, and point on the doll where life has maliciously touched you. Its enough to get you through it until you have to go right back at it tomorrow.

In each episode, members of The Vomitus Party call in their Vomications for all of the cool stuff in their world, and vehemently Decepticoning the merciless ways the life can put you through the wringer. Other features of the show are the drunken cooking tips from Wolfgang Drunk, knowing the value of a “dollah”, and remembering all of the awesome things in life that for some reason disappeared in Bringin’ It Back.

It is one of the few podcasts I’ve found that strongly encourages audience participation and they do it with great results. The place where Vomitus Prime eclipses most all other comedy shows is the chemistry between the hosts. You have Bill’s viciously clever wit that melds with Will’s obscure, yet relevant observations.

If you’re new to podcasts this is a good place to start. If you’re still looking for a good comedy podcast that’s more than dick and fart jokes from the morning zoo, (Vomitus Prime have only the finest fancy dick and fart jokes), head over to www.vomitusprime.com or find them on iTunes and see, rather listen to, the nonsense I speak about.

Babble Blog: G250 & Shooting Trees

Good news everybody!

All I can think of at this very moment is Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth:

Seriously though, there is some good news as I was able to recover a lot of data thanks to a computer whiz at work. This means I have all my music and photos back. Sadly I am still having a hard time finding my contacts and whatnot in Outlook. I really hope I can figure something out and retrieve some of those email messages but if it is not able to happen at least I got something back…

Why are computers such a pain in the ass? I wish I could have had some warning so that I could have planned accordingly. Lesson learned.

I have noticed lately that I have actually been blogging more personal aspects of life rather than what music I am listening to. Get used to it. Sometimes there is nothing better than typing out your day/week/month for the world to read. Who knows, someone might get a kick out of it.

A few days ago I was having one of those days where the zippers were falling apart on my hoodies and the pain from screwdrivers stabbing my thumb while trying to fix it just made it worse. Crappy as it was, it turned for the best when I found a package at my front door. It is the little things in life that mean the most. Someone out there took time out of their life to make me something and honestly it is the coolest thing I have ever received:

Of course I have already sent something back. I look forward to the reaction. It was nothing absurd in case you were wondering… It was thoughtful, fun, and maybe even amazing.

BHP is still getting things straightened out with the whole loss of the laptop. Any day now I will be posting worthless information for everyone to shake their heads to. Speaking of, let me tell you about my weekend…

This past weekend I went to Cincinnati to visit one of my best friends. Usually when I make the trip down there I take a friend but this time it was just me and the pups. I left Saturday morning and arrived there just before noon and returned home the following evening around 7pm. That one quick trip was full of hilarity from the moment I pulled into his driveway.

I could sit here and talk about everything that happened while down there but that might take a while so I will just point out the parts I look back at and either shake my head or laugh at.

-Hibachi. There is a place in Cincinnati called Tokyo that has the best sushi and hibachi ever. I make a point to go there each time I visit. Their dragon rolls are quite possibly the best I have ever had and the hibachi is damn tasty as well. The staff is super friendly and usually when we go it is not busy. This particular time it was just me and my friend at the hibachi grill. We stuffed our faces, talked for hours,and sipped on sake.  Life is good.

Sushi @ Tokyo

-IKEA. I have always liked IKEA products but never had been to one of their stores. An IKEA store opened in Cincinnati within the last couple years and I decided it was time to pay the store a visit. Walking in there I felt like I was in a Disney World attraction with all the different types of people and giant cargo elevators as well as human jammed escalators. I felt like I was in a rat race of sorts following all the people through the upper level of the building that showcased different rooms full of IKEA product. After endlessly dodging customers and employees while looking for an end to the maze I found myself getting bored and decided a pillow fight was in order. Some of the IKEA zombies did not like that. Moving on we managed to get lost but then noticed the convenient arrows on the ground were pointing the opposite direction we were walking so a u-turn got us back on track. As if the upper level was not enough we skipped the Swedish meatball stand and headed downstairs where it was just a warehouse of product. I admit I bought some stuff but did not spend a lot of money. I grabbed two pillows, two small tables, and a tool set. I wanted more but knew it was not a good idea. The shopping carts did sweet 360’s too.

-Roman Candles (Part 1). When a friend tells you that the roman candle you are about to light off may shoot far, listen. I did not and shot one of the balls of fire over my friend’s fence and into his neighbor’s yard. Oops.

-Guinness 250th Anniversary Stout. It’s been a little over a month since I started drinking again. I went alcohol free for a while not just because I wanted to see if I could but because I needed a break. As soon as I fell off the wagon I had a mission to find the Guinness 250 stout. The G250 is a limited edition Guinness stout that was brewed for their 250 year anniversary – simple enough right? Well I have been unsuccessful in finding it on tap in my neck of the woods but was lucky to find an Irish pub in Newport, KY that had it. My friend and I drove there, took at seat at the back bar, and proudly ordered a pint. My (insert worship character of choice) that beer was absolutely AMAZING. It is not thick like Guinness as it is a stout, but still holds that distinguished taste I love.

-Zombie Girl. After we left the pub we walked around the Newport area and as I walked past a Hot Topic I noticed a girl dressed like a zombie lying on the floor perfectly still just inside the entrance. She waved ever so slightly to inform me she was not dead (yet) so being the friendly guy that I am I walked up to her and complimented her on her zombie success. It was funny to see other passerby’s reactions, many who just did not get it. I wanted to punch those people in the face but did not. As my friend and I left the Hot Topic I noticed Ms. Zombie Girl had her hand open as if she were holding it open for a donation. I told my friend I wish I had some change to drop in her hand but my friend was quick to my idea and pressed thirteen cents into the palm of her hand. She looked me confused and we left laughing. We are idiots, yes.

-Roman Candles (Part 2). This time was a little funnier and a little dumber as I thought it would be a good idea to light more roman candles in the early hours of the morning. This time I made sure to hold it away from any neighboring house but for whatever reason managed to shoot a tree with the first fireball. I am an idiot, yes I am.

I survived the weekend unscathed. I did not hurt myself or others so I must say the weekend was a great success. I visited one of my best friends ever, ate mad amounts of foods, drank for at least 12 hours, and remember everything. Good times indeed.

The dogs had fun too.  Of course I took them, they have friends in Cincinnati too…

The pups...

Babble Blog: Weekend + Punk Rock + Friends + Beer = Great Hang

What a weekend…  Time to blog about it!

I’m sitting here right now next to my trusty electric radiator as I really need some heat now that the temperatures are dropping here in tropical Ohio.  I just finished some hot tea, have the pups cuddled up next to me as I type this, and have the final football game of the evening playing in the background.  It’s no surprise the Colts are kicking ass currently and I am still grinning slightly at the Browns’ first win, even if it was pathetic and ugly…

As of late my weekends have been amazing thanks to my gang of pals.  It might help that I am putting myself out there finally after all that I had been going through.  It would appear that I am moving on in the right direction.  Beer helps too.  I have been good, so do not worry.  I am not in the mood to getting plastered.  I have really been appreciating the finer beers in life such as Great Lakes and of course my elixir, Guinness.

My weekend started off a little early this week as some of my punk rock friends and I hit up the Grog Shop to see Strike Anywhere, Polar Bear Club, Crime In Stereo, and Ruiner play.  There is nothing quite like a punk rock show on a rainy evening with good friends and huge cans of PBR.

Ruiner started the evening with a hardcore performance that set the level rather high for the night.  The way they played without care reminded me that sometimes playing show is all about fun.  At times their new drummer missed a couple of beats but the band was quick to laugh it off and start over.

Crime In Stereo was one of the bands I had not heard of before.  Let’s just say I will be buying all of their CDs soon.  They were freaking awesome with their high energy punk rock as well as emo shifts comparable to Brand New, but it was Polar Bear Club and of course Strike Anywhere that won the night over for me.

Having already heard Polar Bear Club’s recent album Chasing Hamburg I already knew I was going enjoy their show.  They sounded amazing and the kids in the pit went nuts singing along and thrashing about.  I stood in the back, I am too old for the jumping around and getting close with my fellow concert goers and I am ok with that.  With my trusty PBR I was contempt with observing and rocking my head to the beat.

Strike Anywhere took the stage in full force and rocked out until their last song.  The political heavy hardcore punk rockers were excited to be back in Cleveland and really put on a great show to all the fans who came out for the night.  Dread-locked lead vocalist Thomas Barnett admitted that even though the band has been around for 10 years that they had not done one thing in Cleveland but were able to earlier in the day as they finally made it to the Rock Hall for a tour.  I hope they enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed their performance.

All of the bands are currently on Bridge Nine Records so there was plenty of merch to be sold at the show.  Sadly the shirt I wanted was not in my size and I was strapped for cash so there was no indulging in vinyl goodness.  Thankfully the internet will be my merch table when I have a few extra bucks to help support those bands.  Here are all of the performing bands newest releases if you care so much to check them out:

After the show a couple of friends and I went to Steak N Shake for a late night stack.  I felt like we were in a creepy movie with the 3rd shift staff looking a little sketchy but they were pleasant, the onion rings were good, and the milk shake was satisfying.

Friday night after my late shift I met up with my pals at a local bar for some beers.  It was not the best choice of bars as I think we could have found something a little more entertaining but it was still nice to sit around at a table and just converse.  My one friend had it in his head that he was going to find girls for us but it did not happen and honestly I was ok with that.

Getting home late night I rest my head on the pillow and before I knew it the sun was up and I was starting on what would turn into a crazy busy day.

I took some time in the morning to update my iPods and got ready for my visit with Matt from Addicted To Vinyl.  Yes folks, Matt visited me.  He drove all the way down to my place with no intention on sitting in my back seat as I escorted him to a festival of sorts.  He was coming to hang out and I was excited like…I don’t know, I was just happy for the hang.

We had a early lunch at Mike’s Place in Kent where our waitress cracked us up with her table departing “You’re Welcome” that was clearly fake and practiced ever so hard.  After eating mad amounts of tater tots and a delicious veggie reuben we made our way into the beautiful downtown area to visit Spin More Records.

Matt had never been to the shop so I was happy to take him there.  We shopped, heckled at an autographed Tesla CD, and did a fair amount of BS’n in the store.  Good times.  Upon leaving the store Matt handed me a 45 of a promo only copy of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts‘ “Roadrunner (Cleveland)”.  Matt explained a lot to me about the song and honestly I value the 45 even more now.  As soon as we got back to my house I dropped the needle on it and we listened to it at high levels.  Matt pointed out the Cleveland references throughout.  Good jam.

Matt had to get going to I slammed the door in his face and did not pay him for The Avett Brother’s I & Love & You LP he so kindly fetched for me from Music Saves (honestly is anyone else as shocked as I am that he is being so nice to me as of late???).

My best buds came over a couple of hours later and we headed to my one friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s housewarming party…phew!

The house was in Akron in a beautiful neighborhood and honestly I was jealous of it.  It was a great looking house with a creepy ass third floor that could very well supply the scenes for future horror movies.  A lot of cool people showed up and everyone mingled while drinking an array of beers.  I stuck with Great Lakes…yum.

After a taco eating contest (I did not take place in it), managing to piss off one of my pal’s sister’s friends, house to garage jumping, a cornhole win, and a chair mysteriously finding it’s way to the garage roof, I found myself sitting around a fire pit with my good friends.  It was the perfect way to end the night.  There is nothing quite like sitting around a fire bringing up past stories and burning old lead paint coated cabinet doors.

We headed home earlier than we all anticipated but honestly we were all beat from day long activities.  Once I got home I just hung out for a bit with the pups and headed to sleepy land.

I woke up and as soon as I got motivated headed to Solon to meet up with my friend and his folks for breakfast.  I had a feeling the jerk was not going to wake up in time and even tried calling him to confirm the meal was still on but received his voicemail.  I completely forgot that his phone was dead but still tried to call my other friend who did not answer as well.

Right before I got off the freeway my friend called stating he had no left yet and just woke up.  I took the opportunity to head to the Borders Books & Music I used to work at to see who was working.  I lucked out as one of my longest known friends was working.

After catching up with him I poked around the store and grabbed this:

www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400049628?ie=UTF8&tag=brokenheadpho-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1400049628

Laugh all you want…I’ll be prepared for when it happens.  What’s your zombie escape plan?

Once my friend finally called me telling me they were almost there I departed the book store and stuffed my face with breakfast.  I love me some breakfast, especially when my friend’s dad insists on paying for it.

We all headed back to the parent’s house for a quick digestion/relaxation and I said my goodbyes as one of my friends had to head back home to Cincinnati.  See ya next time pal…

I headed to my brother’s to watch the ugly Cleveland Browns game and upon the end of the game left slightly satisfied with their first win.

By the time I got home I wanted nothing more to do than throw a blanket over my body and fall in and out of sleep during the rest of the football games.  Instead I played with the boys for a bit, jammed out to some music, and got some work done.

It was a great weekend.  I keep mentioning how great my weekends are and I will continue to do so when they are because it’s times like these that I cherish the most.  Being with friends and family.

Next weekend I am heading to see the Northeast Ohio Rock ‘N’ Roller Girls do their thing at the the Summit Country Fairgrounds.  This will be their last bout of the season so if you have nothing going on head on out and help cheer them on for a win!

Look for an interview with members of the team shortly!  I had the privilege to chat with a couple of them and plan on sharing the outcome with you all soon.  Until then, be well.